Wireless Worrier Gifts

Hell has no wi-fi.

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

I.T. Fear

The World Wide Web.

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

Nervous Oral Testing

I hate monday mornings.

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

'Keep Off the Wi-Fi.'

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

Wifi whore

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

'But we just fed the meter for another hour.'

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

We don't have wi-fi.

You Are Here...Your Nearest Wi-FI Signal Is Here.

'No wifi?. . .No 3G, either?!. . .Lousy tropical paradise!'

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

"We have to recognise that severe weather events are becoming more common. . ."

'I'm not convinced you need tranquillizers to switch phone provider.'

"I couldn't get a signal while I was at the mall. I can now relate to those songs that sing about the blues."

Weather reporter feels guilty every time it rains.

"Oh, for crying out loud, Lou... just go in the water!"

'I've never eaten here. I come for the broadband.'

"It's summer and kids need an outlet...an electrical outlet!"

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

"Is it always so cloudy?"

'Internet' 'Internot'

'An they have the nerve to call this heaven!'

"With rain in nearly every forecast, probably because of global warming, you know what's coming...so officially, we are now News & Sports at Six."