Warranty Worrier Gifts

Regular servicing protects your warranty, and your family from psycho mechanics.

'Your TV is programmed to expire in thirteen months. Do you want to opt for the extended warranty?'

'It's bound to go wrong. We made the final payment last week.'

"Oh, great, the warranty is up."

I.T. Fear

Nervous Oral Testing

I hate monday mornings.

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

"We have to recognise that severe weather events are becoming more common. . ."

'I'm not convinced you need tranquillizers to switch phone provider.'

Weather reporter feels guilty every time it rains.

"Oh, for crying out loud, Lou... just go in the water!"

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

"With rain in nearly every forecast, probably because of global warming, you know what's coming...so officially, we are now News & Sports at Six."

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

"I know there's safety in numbers, but I suffer from enochlophobia: Can you help me?"

"Is it always so cloudy?"

"Hurry up and pick that lock. I'm hungry and it's freezing out here."

Concern Chart

"The cause of your illness is the approaching winter."

'If all the red warning lights come on, it means meltdown, so get out of the car fast!'

'He spent yesterday being briefed on the threats from a cyber attack...'

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

'Read that part again where it predicts a cold, snowy winter for the midwest...'

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

"I hear that march is coming in like a lineman and out like a lamb...I just wanted to be prepared."

'No, I've never yet broken any swimming records, why do you ask?'