Utility Worrier Gifts

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

I.T. Fear

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

I think I have a gilt complex.

"'How to Buy Tickets on Bezos' Spaceship so You Can Live to See Your Teens,' by Chloe Butler."

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

'We do a lot for the ecosystem.'

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

"Oh, for crying out loud, Lou... just go in the water!"

'Climate change seems to be a real thing... in the past, our money was sufficient till the 25th of a month. Nowadays, it's melted away on the 15th.'

Gas Bill

'She was upset about breaking up with 'Phoenix',your 'plenty more fish in the sea' just made it worse!'

"I know there's safety in numbers, but I suffer from enochlophobia: Can you help me?"

'If all the red warning lights come on, it means meltdown, so get out of the car fast!'

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

The Circle.

"You forgot to read the small print Mr Burrows. My charges are ten pounds a letter and you have two hundred and thirty three on this page."

Energy Bills

'No, I've never yet broken any swimming records, why do you ask?'

"You hear that? New Zealand plans to tax cow burps. You have been warned!"

It was a bad day for Mr Effervescent

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

The End of Economic Stimulus is Near!

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

"All I'm saying is, I wished for an endless summer vacation, and now the glaciers are melting."

'I told you this house was too near the nuclear reactor. My G-gnome's already been damaged.'

'It's money in the bank. . . so it's worrisome.'

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

'Our office is on the 14th floor, Peters... you should forget about rising sea levels.'

Expectation - Man Awaits Tree So He Can Hang Himself.

'Do you want to reconsider? Headquaters just said we're going green.'

"Everyone has to start somewhere."