Utility Watcher Gifts

'The instruments are suggesting that the heat pump is receiving a temperature of 105...what could possibly be heating the ground that much?'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

Trump

"Neversource"

"Read me one more, Daddy!"

'Since hooking our generators up to your exercise machines, we've cut our fuel consumption by 25.'

Utility Chic.

Thru The Eyes Of A Lifeguard.

'I think this is where our fish pond was.'

Gas Bill

United States of Cheney.

A man about to plug in a lamp looks at electric sockets on the wall that say 'Solar,' 'Hydro Electric' and 'Nuclear.'

'You said to call back if the gas problem got worse.'

"That's it - we've eaten the last of the energy bills."

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

'With the deficit and spending bills constantly threatening to close it...the sign shows the current status of Congress.'

Energy Bills

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until the Super Bowl is over before turning off my electricity?'

A Utility Knife.

Low Tech Power Failure System Protection.

"Raw sewage is so much easier to source these days."

"No more fake news, alternative facts, or conspiracy theories. If elected, I promise to go back to old-fashioned lying!"

'What really rankles is they still haven't lifted the hosepipe ban.'

Shuffle Zone. Please shuffle and create static electricity to power our city.

New migrating patterns may result in some interruption of services.

Duel Fuel?

A genetically bred super spider that spins utility lines.

Call before you dig!

"Hello Bob, I haven't seen you since you had a water meter fitted!"

'You've cut me off. So how can I find my cheque book in the dark?'