Utility Warriors Gifts

Gas Bill

"Thank you for ringing your energy company. Please leave a message after the laughter..."

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

"Neversource"

'Our short-term solution is money. Our long-term solution is more money.'

"Read me one more, Daddy!"

'My micro is so good it's beginning to grow into the macro.'

'Hey, Birdbrain, does the word ozone mean anything to you?'

"We can probably just about afford to run the pilot-light."

"It's a ransom note from our energy supplier!"

'If you can't beat 'em join 'em.'

'You said to call back if the gas problem got worse.'

'What SPF do you use?'

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

"Ordering groceries online can be unpredictable."

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until the Super Bowl is over before turning off my electricity?'

"We can only apologise, Mr. Kent. But wouldn't you think that a superhero's uniform would be shrink-proofed?"

A Utility Knife.

"Raw sewage is so much easier to source these days."

Pearson, I Smell Something Burning

Low Tech Power Failure System Protection.

Shuffle Zone. Please shuffle and create static electricity to power our city.

'Sorry son, I spent all your inheritence fighting inheritence tax.'

'We've only cut our CO2 emissions to piss off the utilities companies.'

New migrating patterns may result in some interruption of services.

A genetically bred super spider that spins utility lines.

Call before you dig!

"Hello Bob, I haven't seen you since you had a water meter fitted!"

Sunbloc 1000

"Did you get any Valentines day cards?"

Did you see that documentary on prairie dogs last night?

'You've cut me off. So how can I find my cheque book in the dark?'

The five stages of laundry 1. Denial I'll do it tomorrow. 2. Anger Why are there no clean clothes!? 3. Bargaining Ok! Who wants to help with the laundry? 4. Depression Can't. Do. It. 5. Acceptance

Missing sock announcement on a milk carton.