Battery Worrier Gifts

"Relax! I'm not here for you - your phone is dying."

I.T. Fear

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"'How to Buy Tickets on Bezos' Spaceship so You Can Live to See Your Teens,' by Chloe Butler."

I think I have a gilt complex.

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

"Oh, for crying out loud, Lou... just go in the water!"

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

'We do a lot for the ecosystem.'

'Climate change seems to be a real thing... in the past, our money was sufficient till the 25th of a month. Nowadays, it's melted away on the 15th.'

"I know there's safety in numbers, but I suffer from enochlophobia: Can you help me?"

'She was upset about breaking up with 'Phoenix',your 'plenty more fish in the sea' just made it worse!'

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

'If all the red warning lights come on, it means meltdown, so get out of the car fast!'

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

'He spent yesterday being briefed on the threats from a cyber attack...'

The Circle.

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

"You hear that? New Zealand plans to tax cow burps. You have been warned!"

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

Energy Bills

'No, I've never yet broken any swimming records, why do you ask?'

"Let's skip Earth - they have crappy Wi-Fi."

It was a bad day for Mr Effervescent

"...and in this circle the wi-fi is particularly patchy..."

The End of Economic Stimulus is Near!

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

"All I'm saying is, I wished for an endless summer vacation, and now the glaciers are melting."

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

'I told you this house was too near the nuclear reactor. My G-gnome's already been damaged.'

'It's money in the bank. . . so it's worrisome.'

'Our office is on the 14th floor, Peters... you should forget about rising sea levels.'

'Do you want to reconsider? Headquaters just said we're going green.'