Battery Life Worrier Gifts

"Help, doc, I'm dying! Well, not me...my phone battery."

"Still at 19%, how about you?"

I.T. Fear

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

Nervous Oral Testing

I hate monday mornings.

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

Gym. It doesn't help when you call the ab workout a "journey to the center of the girth."

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

"Oh, for crying out loud, Lou... just go in the water!"

"We have to recognise that severe weather events are becoming more common. . ."

Weather reporter feels guilty every time it rains.

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

"I know there's safety in numbers, but I suffer from enochlophobia: Can you help me?"

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

"Is it always so cloudy?"

"With rain in nearly every forecast, probably because of global warming, you know what's coming...so officially, we are now News & Sports at Six."

"Hurry up and pick that lock. I'm hungry and it's freezing out here."

Concern Chart

'I'm convinced I've got page 68 of my medical dictionary, doctor!'

Health MOT's will attract 'worried well': I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I've got ALL these life threatening illnesses.

'If all the red warning lights come on, it means meltdown, so get out of the car fast!'

The Circle.

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

'Read that part again where it predicts a cold, snowy winter for the midwest...'

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

It was a bad day for Mr Effervescent

'No, I've never yet broken any swimming records, why do you ask?'