Battery Life Worrier Gifts

"Help, doc, I'm dying! Well, not me...my phone battery."

"Still at 19%, how about you?"

I.T. Fear

Nervous Oral Testing

I hate monday mornings.

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

"We have to recognise that severe weather events are becoming more common. . ."

Weather reporter feels guilty every time it rains.

"Oh, for crying out loud, Lou... just go in the water!"

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

"Hurry up and pick that lock. I'm hungry and it's freezing out here."

Concern Chart

"I know there's safety in numbers, but I suffer from enochlophobia: Can you help me?"

"Is it always so cloudy?"

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

'I'm convinced I've got page 68 of my medical dictionary, doctor!'

"With rain in nearly every forecast, probably because of global warming, you know what's coming...so officially, we are now News & Sports at Six."

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

Health MOT's will attract 'worried well': I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I've got ALL these life threatening illnesses.

'If all the red warning lights come on, it means meltdown, so get out of the car fast!'

The Circle.

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

'Read that part again where it predicts a cold, snowy winter for the midwest...'

It was a bad day for Mr Effervescent

"Let's skip Earth - they have crappy Wi-Fi."

"...and in this circle the wi-fi is particularly patchy..."

'No, I've never yet broken any swimming records, why do you ask?'