Money Worrier Gifts

Financial Crises.

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

I think I have a gilt complex.

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

"Oh, for crying out loud, Lou... just go in the water!"

'I'm not convinced you need tranquillizers to switch phone provider.'

'Climate change seems to be a real thing... in the past, our money was sufficient till the 25th of a month. Nowadays, it's melted away on the 15th.'

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

The Circle.

'He spent yesterday being briefed on the threats from a cyber attack...'

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

"All I did was ask it if we'll ever collect Social Security and Medicare."

It was a bad day for Mr Effervescent

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

'No, I've never yet broken any swimming records, why do you ask?'

Energy Bills

"You forgot to read the small print Mr Burrows. My charges are ten pounds a letter and you have two hundred and thirty three on this page."

The End of Economic Stimulus is Near!

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

'It's money in the bank. . . so it's worrisome.'

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

"I thought I'd done everything to get a decent pension..."

"Everyone has to start somewhere."

"Sidney gets nervous if he's too far from his money."

'You can't take it with you so I'm sending it on ahead.'

'Well, we've been talking about downsizing, and it looks like the bank is going to make sure we do.'

"Dad, I'm thirsty again!"

"Do you have money or is it money that has you?"

"My arthritis lets me know when it's going to rain, and my acid reflux lets me know when a stock market storm is rolling in."