Wealthy Worrier Gifts

'Someday, son, all this will be divided among your ex-wives.'

'I'm worried. Money doesn't make my heart go pitter-patter anymore.'

'You can't take it with you so I'm sending it on ahead.'

Golden handshake old redundancy port.

'We're thinking of adding a gazebo. I could go there when I'm feeling trapped and resentful.'

A Hole in the Dike

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

Separation Anxiety

I think I have a gilt complex.

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

Champagne at the hunt

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

'I'm not convinced you need tranquillizers to switch phone provider.'

'Climate change seems to be a real thing... in the past, our money was sufficient till the 25th of a month. Nowadays, it's melted away on the 15th.'

Nervous Kid sees the dentist's toolkit.

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

No Action Comics

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

"All I did was ask it if we'll ever collect Social Security and Medicare."

Energy Bills

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

'It's money in the bank. . . so it's worrisome.'

"Sidney gets nervous if he's too far from his money."

'Well, we've been talking about downsizing, and it looks like the bank is going to make sure we do.'

"Do you have money or is it money that has you?"

Eye of needle fat cat size That'll do nicely.

"Right. Money isn't everything - what's the other thing again?"

James never left his bed, seeing nothing but danger in the financial world.

'Man! With its ever-rising value, you have enough gold in your mouth to ensure a great retirement...of course without teeth!

Pre-Traumatic Stress Disorder