Corporate Worrier Gifts

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

I.T. Fear

Nervous Oral Testing

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

'Climate change seems to be a real thing... in the past, our money was sufficient till the 25th of a month. Nowadays, it's melted away on the 15th.'

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

Concern Chart

The Circle.

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

'He spent yesterday being briefed on the threats from a cyber attack...'

"The boss complimented Bob today... but now he's afraid if he talks to him again he'll say something stupid and ruin it!"

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

Energy Bills

"No, there's nothing wrong at my job. That's what's got me worried."

"All I did was ask it if we'll ever collect Social Security and Medicare."

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

I didn't experience any of the side effects listed in the enclosed literature. Should I be concerned?'

The End of Economic Stimulus is Near!

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

'Nothing to be alarmed about Mrs.Harvey, kids do this sort of things all the time. I'm sure whatever your Jimmy's gotten lodged up there, we can get it out.'

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

Obama and the Dragon

'It's money in the bank. . . so it's worrisome.'

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

Credit Crunch.

'Well, we've been talking about downsizing, and it looks like the bank is going to make sure we do.'

"Sidney gets nervous if he's too far from his money."