Office Worrier Gifts

"The boss complimented Bob today... but now he's afraid if he talks to him again he'll say something stupid and ruin it!"

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

'I hate Mondays.'

'Dog eat dog.'

The food chain is like a huge corporation, the only one who really enjoys it, is the guy at the top!

'You say you type 80 words a minute ... Actually, that's not at all important...!'

Working 9 to 5.

'Don't you try those cheap scare tactics with me, Rendleman!'

Why am I running?

'Of course, the toll on my personal life has been enormous.'

"Hank brings five years of top sales experience to our team so lets try to make him feel welcome as he makes you all look bad."

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

Don't worry, the first thirty years working here are the hardest.

"I have an obligation to the stockholders, not the employees!"

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

"And to think all these years you've worried about some boy wonder taking over your job."

'At least I don't have his life.'

Subordinate Employee

'Sorry, I can't help you, the computer's down again.'

"The itsy-bitsy spider went up the corporate ladder. And he didn't care how many lives he ruined along the way. I know, this isn't the book Simon & Schuster wants. But it's the damn truth."

Unrealistic expectations tend to lead to disappointment. . .

'I have created the first interactive pile of paperwork.'

'I took your advice and told him either I get a raise or I quit!'

"Let's face it, this meeting isn't about tightening our work schedule. It's about stretching our deadline."