Insurance Worrier Gifts

'Take two of these, stuff them waaaay up your nostrils and leave them there until you've paid your bill from three months ago.'

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

'In the few remaining minutes of the lesson I can't do better than to show you how to fill an accident form.'

'Climate change seems to be a real thing... in the past, our money was sufficient till the 25th of a month. Nowadays, it's melted away on the 15th.'

"Your health insurance doesn't cover what you've got...so I'm diagnosing you with something they do cover."

Expensive health care

'I'm convinced I've got page 68 of my medical dictionary, doctor!'

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

Health MOT's will attract 'worried well': I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I've got ALL these life threatening illnesses.

The Circle.

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

'Doc - this isn't going to cost me a lot - is it?'

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

"The boss complimented Bob today... but now he's afraid if he talks to him again he'll say something stupid and ruin it!"

Energy Bills

"You know it almost BEGGARS belief that so many people are unwilling to pay for professional pension advice."

"Your disgust over ballooning healthcare costs is just a natural part of the aging process."

'Panic over...it's not mumps just high blood pressure.'

'You're a hypochondriac.' 'Yes, Doctor, but am I a healthy hypochondriac, or a sick hypochondriac?'

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

"You forgot to read the small print Mr Burrows. My charges are ten pounds a letter and you have two hundred and thirty three on this page."

The End of Economic Stimulus is Near!

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

"Congratulations...your cholesterol is lower than your copay."

'It's money in the bank. . . so it's worrisome.'

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"