Insurance Worrier Gifts

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

'In the few remaining minutes of the lesson I can't do better than to show you how to fill an accident form.'

'Climate change seems to be a real thing... in the past, our money was sufficient till the 25th of a month. Nowadays, it's melted away on the 15th.'

Expensive health care

'I'm convinced I've got page 68 of my medical dictionary, doctor!'

"Your health insurance doesn't cover what you've got...so I'm diagnosing you with something they do cover."

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

Health MOT's will attract 'worried well': I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I've got ALL these life threatening illnesses.

The Circle.

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

"The boss complimented Bob today... but now he's afraid if he talks to him again he'll say something stupid and ruin it!"

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

'Doc - this isn't going to cost me a lot - is it?'

'You're a hypochondriac.' 'Yes, Doctor, but am I a healthy hypochondriac, or a sick hypochondriac?'

'Panic over...it's not mumps just high blood pressure.'

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

Energy Bills

"You forgot to read the small print Mr Burrows. My charges are ten pounds a letter and you have two hundred and thirty three on this page."

"You know it almost BEGGARS belief that so many people are unwilling to pay for professional pension advice."

The End of Economic Stimulus is Near!

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

"Congratulations...your cholesterol is lower than your copay."

'It's money in the bank. . . so it's worrisome.'

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"