Healthcare Worrier Gifts

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

'Doc - this isn't going to cost me a lot - is it?'

'A lot of this has been going around. It comes from wondering who's going to pay for health insurance.'

Expensive health care

'I was hoping it didn't involve those thin white gloves.'

"George, promise you won't get mad, but there's something I forgot to renew."

Nervous Oral Testing

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

Cheer up-things aren't so bad.....

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

'Ten things you should be worried about.'

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

Concern Chart

'I'm convinced I've got page 68 of my medical dictionary, doctor!'

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

Health MOT's will attract 'worried well': I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I've got ALL these life threatening illnesses.

NHS application system: 'Let me in! I'm a Junior Doctor!'

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

"The boss complimented Bob today... but now he's afraid if he talks to him again he'll say something stupid and ruin it!"

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

"You know it almost BEGGARS belief that so many people are unwilling to pay for professional pension advice."

'Panic over...it's not mumps just high blood pressure.'

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

'You're a hypochondriac.' 'Yes, Doctor, but am I a healthy hypochondriac, or a sick hypochondriac?'

"No, there's nothing wrong at my job. That's what's got me worried."

I didn't experience any of the side effects listed in the enclosed literature. Should I be concerned?'

'Nothing to be alarmed about Mrs.Harvey, kids do this sort of things all the time. I'm sure whatever your Jimmy's gotten lodged up there, we can get it out.'

'Your present physical condition reminds me of my 401(K), worth about half of what it once was'

"They told me to consult with a doctor before beginning an exercise program."