Healthcare Worrier Pillows

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

'I'm sorry to tell that your husband's coverage has expired.'

'Doc - this isn't going to cost me a lot - is it?'

'A lot of this has been going around. It comes from wondering who's going to pay for health insurance.'

Expensive health care

'I was hoping it didn't involve those thin white gloves.'

"Your disgust over ballooning healthcare costs is just a natural part of the aging process."

"George, promise you won't get mad, but there's something I forgot to renew."

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

Nervous Oral Testing

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

Gym. It doesn't help when you call the ab workout a "journey to the center of the girth."

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

Cheer up-things aren't so bad.....

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

'Ten things you should be worried about.'

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

'I'm convinced I've got page 68 of my medical dictionary, doctor!'

Concern Chart

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

Health MOT's will attract 'worried well': I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I've got ALL these life threatening illnesses.

NHS application system: 'Let me in! I'm a Junior Doctor!'

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

"The boss complimented Bob today... but now he's afraid if he talks to him again he'll say something stupid and ruin it!"

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

'Panic over...it's not mumps just high blood pressure.'

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

"No, there's nothing wrong at my job. That's what's got me worried."

"You know it almost BEGGARS belief that so many people are unwilling to pay for professional pension advice."

'You're a hypochondriac.' 'Yes, Doctor, but am I a healthy hypochondriac, or a sick hypochondriac?'