Healthcare Concerns Gifts

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

"Say hi to your mother for me and tell her I'm happy her bypass turned out O.K

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

'I don't know which health issue should concern me more - the voices in my head or the fact that I need a hearing aid to hear them.'

'Remember your blood pressure, dear!...the Dr, warned about anything that would anger you, like this divided congress and their inability to compromise on things beneficial to the nation.'

'And you say your face after you looked at the bill I sent you for your last visit.'

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

Expensive health care

Death in the red zone

'Doc - this isn't going to cost me a lot - is it?'

"Oh, I'm sorry. That procedure isn't covered. Now, spin the wheel to see what you'll pay."

Getting Old Sucks: "Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?"

"Triple espresso." "Forget it, Uncle Mort. Your doctors said no caffeine." "I am not your Uncle Mort. I am someone else altogether." "Oh yeah? Who are you?" "I am... Drinkum... Coffeeman... Worthington-Smythe... of the Florida Coffeeman-Worthington-Smythes." "You may have heard of us... We're a family of... um... troubadours. I, myself, wrote several ballads for the likes of Sinatra, Pat Boone, and Jimi Hendrix." "So if I were to Google that right now, Google would confirm that?" "Google

'Bill, I'm sorry to hear about your going into the hospital. Is it a MALE problem?'

'The Doctor will see you now...'

"You have third-degree burns over most of your body. At least your chin looks OK ??" aside from that big hairy mole."

'Sorry Jack, but as I said to Jill, it's the two tier system, if you can't afford anything better, it'll have to be just the vinegar and brown paper.'

"This really is your last chance Mr Perkins."

"Happy birthday. They were out of bourbon so I got you those underpants you can pee in."

'Don't tell me you want universal health care!'

'A lot of this has been going around. It comes from wondering who's going to pay for health insurance.'

"The worse part is, I paid the doctor in advance."

"You lot aren't fooling anyone, y'know." King Charles cancer treatment

"You might want to sit down, Mrs. Dumpty."

'I was hoping it didn't involve those thin white gloves.'

"Do my medical benefits cover being sick of rising medical costs?"

"Mr Miller has bowel trouble."

'It's bad news, but for a small fee we can make it sound like good news.'

Love in the pandemic