Word Processor Worrier Gifts

'Darling, I've just deleted the computer,'

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

Nervous Oral Testing

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

'But do you realize what this report cart will do to my self-esteem?'

Doctors often have to reassure the worried well.

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

"Crap in" and "crap out"

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

Concern Chart

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

No Action Comics

'He spent yesterday being briefed on the threats from a cyber attack...'

"The boss complimented Bob today... but now he's afraid if he talks to him again he'll say something stupid and ruin it!"

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

"No, there's nothing wrong at my job. That's what's got me worried."

I didn't experience any of the side effects listed in the enclosed literature. Should I be concerned?'

'Nothing to be alarmed about Mrs.Harvey, kids do this sort of things all the time. I'm sure whatever your Jimmy's gotten lodged up there, we can get it out.'

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

'If my grades don't improve, I don't know what'll happen. Maybe they'll offer me a buyout.'

'Did I or did I not say, no woodworm?!'

'Can I have a few minutes to defrag before I take the test?'

'I'm worried, the software that can replace me is becoming more affordable.'

Pre-Traumatic Stress Disorder

'I can't relax _ I'm worrying about your watch being five minutes slow !'

"This is where I get most of my negative thinking done."

'Just taking precautions in case the plumber doesn't come before the house sinks!'

We know your e-mail address!

Woman afraid of a computer mouse.

"You should make a resolution not to worry about the little things..."

"I can always tell when there's something on Ferguson's mind."

'Next, they'll be taking our jobs.'

"You fear saying something stupid. In layman's terms, cat's got your tongue."