Wordsmith Worrier Gifts

"You fear saying something stupid. In layman's terms, cat's got your tongue."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Campaign for Plain English

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Meet The Author"

"Do me next."

First Novels.

"She's been so creative lately."

Edgar Allen Poe

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Backfire

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Cut Price

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

Someone who knows apostrophes

Why we need poetry. . .

What's normal?

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"