Wordsmith In Distress Gifts

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

Monk Mistake

"Loads of top US writers have whole teams to support them

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

Torturing the English Language

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Meet The Author"

"Do me next."

First Novels.

Edgar Allen Poe

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

"She's been so creative lately."

Reading my Critics

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

Backfire

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Cut Price

Someone who knows apostrophes

Why we need poetry. . .

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

What's normal?

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'