Workflow Worrier Gifts

"Crap in" and "crap out"

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

Nervous Oral Testing

I.T. Fear

'It's new from British Telecom...a telephone ignoring machine.'

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

'But do you realize what this report cart will do to my self-esteem?'

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

'We've decided to upgrade your position with a new version 2.0 employee.'

"You don't have to say anthing, but anything you do say may later be used in court by a divorce lawyer."

"Oh, for crying out loud, Lou... just go in the water!"

"How was your day?"

A usual day.

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

Concern Chart

"What do you mean 'no way'?"

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

'He heard the question, Reverend. He's sleeping on it.'

"I know there's safety in numbers, but I suffer from enochlophobia: Can you help me?"

'If all the red warning lights come on, it means meltdown, so get out of the car fast!'

'He spent yesterday being briefed on the threats from a cyber attack...'

"Hurry up with that cork!"

"The boss complimented Bob today... but now he's afraid if he talks to him again he'll say something stupid and ruin it!"

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

'No, I've never yet broken any swimming records, why do you ask?'

It was a bad day for Mr Effervescent

A word to the wise. At this morning's meeting you were referred to as the 'the bottleneck'.

I didn't experience any of the side effects listed in the enclosed literature. Should I be concerned?'

"I think he's just going through the motions."