Word Processor Worrier Pillows

'Darling, I've just deleted the computer,'

Nervous Oral Testing

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

'But do you realize what this report cart will do to my self-esteem?'

Doctors often have to reassure the worried well.

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

Concern Chart

"Crap in" and "crap out"

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

No Action Comics

'He spent yesterday being briefed on the threats from a cyber attack...'

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

"The boss complimented Bob today... but now he's afraid if he talks to him again he'll say something stupid and ruin it!"

"No, there's nothing wrong at my job. That's what's got me worried."

I didn't experience any of the side effects listed in the enclosed literature. Should I be concerned?'

'Nothing to be alarmed about Mrs.Harvey, kids do this sort of things all the time. I'm sure whatever your Jimmy's gotten lodged up there, we can get it out.'

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

'If my grades don't improve, I don't know what'll happen. Maybe they'll offer me a buyout.'

'Can I have a few minutes to defrag before I take the test?'

'I'm worried, the software that can replace me is becoming more affordable.'

'Did I or did I not say, no woodworm?!'

Pre-Traumatic Stress Disorder

'I can't relax _ I'm worrying about your watch being five minutes slow !'

"This is where I get most of my negative thinking done."

"You should make a resolution not to worry about the little things..."

'Just taking precautions in case the plumber doesn't come before the house sinks!'

We know your e-mail address!

Woman afraid of a computer mouse.

"I can always tell when there's something on Ferguson's mind."

'Next, they'll be taking our jobs.'