Woodwork Worrier Gifts

'Did I or did I not say, no woodworm?!'

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

"Lovely dovetail."

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

'Quit fooling around, Gog. Do the assignment.'

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

'... Of course it's expensive. It doesn't grow on trees you know!'

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

"I'm the ghost of woodshop past."

Nick Offerman

"Most projects require three hands."

Cut out and keep your own D.I.Y expert.

"Bob's a tool belt."

Naked Furniture

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

"Any beaver can cut down trees, but marquetry, now that's art."

'I must admit, this family reunion hasn't really lived up to my expectations.'

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

D.I.Y SUCKS!

"Everything you need for self-assembly."

"Remedial Karate"