Wood Worker Gifts

'You've been a great help, thanks: If I could, I would give you a big pat on the back...'

Deforestation.

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

Poor guy fell asleep with his head in the sap.

Tool Box

Rocking horse

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

Do it yourself books.

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

Don't let the woodcutters get too close or they'll make a fuel out of you!

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

'You certainly have a well equipped workbench.'

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

"Lovely dovetail."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

"Do we always have to work through lunch?"

'Mum! Come and see the coffee-table I've made with my new tool-set!'

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

D.I.Y

Off Duty.

Now may not be a good time,he just found out he's not going to live forever.

Guide to Carpentry Fish

'Don't push your luck Simkins with that alleged glove stretcher!'

I'm starting to think our new hardwood floor is made of driftwood.