Forestry Worker Gifts

Teaching Class What A Tree Looks Like.

"Nope. Looks like we're gonna have to use the saw on this one, too."

"Dang. Just a thin ring of wood veneer over cheap particle board."

"For goodness sake, I don't need to do a new risk assessment each time I cut a new tree..."

'My horoscope says I'm due for a surprise today.'

"One day son, all this junk will be mail!"

'Lumber jack?' 'No, lumber Jill!'

If you go out in the woods today, you're sure of a big surprise.

"It's okay...It just thinks it has Dutch Elm Disease!"

'Maple syrup? Really? Gosh, all these years I thought this was a mandatory drug screening!'

Only Stumps Left to Lasso

A lumberjack leans against a giant pencil that reads "Giant Sequoia Brand No .2".

'The theory is, instead of cutting us down, they keep recycling Grandpa to make new paper products.'

"I understand it all started with tranquilliser darts."

'My tap root reaches all the way to China.'

Dog wees on man's leg as all trees are gone.

Bird commits suicide on tree cutters axe

Smokey Bear crying because of deliberately started forest fires

A New Product from the McWit Sawmill & Bakery, The Highest Fiber Bread: Half wheat and half Bark.

'it's the last bite that worries me.'

'The little guy with the buck teeth is making the rest of you look like wimps!'

Tortured Plank

Deforestation.

Man blowing up plastic tree so dog can relieve himself.

"We had to cut down the forest to make more climate change reports!"

'Coniferous Rhinoceros.'

You B*****D

Deforestation fires and global warming

The last bird in the last wood...

Lumber Jacka**

Spotted Owl Migration

Camping site.

Deforestation

"Now... shall we count YOUR rings..?"

Trees are crying.