Woodworker's Worry Gifts

"Sorry Capt., but it's a pretty bad termite infestation..."

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

Don't let the woodcutters get too close or they'll make a fuel out of you!

"Lovely dovetail."

D.I.Y

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Quit fooling around, Gog. Do the assignment.'

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

'... Of course it's expensive. It doesn't grow on trees you know!'

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

"I'm the ghost of woodshop past."

Luthier

'I told you to not get Danny that Junior Carpenter set.'

Nick Offerman

"Most projects require three hands."

Whittlers Mother

Cut out and keep your own D.I.Y expert.

"Everything you need for self-assembly."

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

"Bob's a tool belt."

'I must admit, this family reunion hasn't really lived up to my expectations.'

Uranium, heavy water? Where on the web did you say you got the plans for this birdhouse?

'My client stands before you, a jury of his whittling peers ...'

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

D.I.Y SUCKS!