Woodworker's Wit Gifts

Cutting Down Trees to Build the Ark

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

Don't let the woodcutters get too close or they'll make a fuel out of you!

"Lovely dovetail."

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

'... Of course it's expensive. It doesn't grow on trees you know!'

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

A classic case of 'Cow-Worm'.

"I'm the ghost of woodshop past."

'Green Peace'

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

'Still having problems finding day care?'

Whittlers Mother

"Most projects require three hands."

Nick Offerman

Board Meeting

Cut out and keep your own D.I.Y expert.

Uranium, heavy water? Where on the web did you say you got the plans for this birdhouse?

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

"Everything you need for self-assembly."

Kenny's mom always made his lunch.

D.I.Y SUCKS!

'My client stands before you, a jury of his whittling peers ...'

Naked Furniture

"Bob's a tool belt."

"Any beaver can cut down trees, but marquetry, now that's art."

'I must admit, this family reunion hasn't really lived up to my expectations.'

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'