Woodworker Humorist Gifts

"Let me guess: Another splinter?"

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"Lovely dovetail."

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

'... Of course it's expensive. It doesn't grow on trees you know!'

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

A classic case of 'Cow-Worm'.

"I'm the ghost of woodshop past."

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

"Most projects require three hands."

Nick Offerman

Board Meeting

Cut out and keep your own D.I.Y expert.

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

"Any beaver can cut down trees, but marquetry, now that's art."

"Everything you need for self-assembly."

Naked Furniture

"Just so you understand in advance - we're not old-time craftsmen, and we don't take pride in our work."

Cuts, Measurements, Certain, Sloppy

Uranium, heavy water? Where on the web did you say you got the plans for this birdhouse?

"Bob's a tool belt."

'I must admit, this family reunion hasn't really lived up to my expectations.'

Kenny's mom always made his lunch.

'My client stands before you, a jury of his whittling peers ...'

D.I.Y SUCKS!