Woodworking Comedian Gifts

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

Do it yourself books.

"Lovely dovetail."

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

A classic case of 'Cow-Worm'.

'Green Peace'

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

'This is the questionnaire we need everyone to fill out about their views on excessive bureaucracy.'

Board Meeting

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

Man sitting at desk below sign saying 'Apologies' and two trays labelled 'Reserved' and 'Unreserved'.

Files of Doom

Lumberjack:'TIMBERRRR!' Tree:'MURDERERRRR!'

'Just so you know, leaning on a rake and looking at the sky is not 'yard work', and thus may not be entered into your 'I do so help around the house' defense.'

Poorly planned Chanukah crafts

Oh, good - Looks like the doctor's in.

Tree and man

"By the time I knocked all the rough edges off I had nothing left."

"Hold on, one more thing to go."

'Oh look, I a flying saw sir.'

'The living room shelves are coming along nicely dear.'

"Let me guess: Another splinter?"

Make Your Own

'Have you heard about the origami shop?'

Cutting Down Trees to Build the Ark

Cow with meat diagrams - tree with furniture diagrams.

"Sorry, I don't have any beer. The wife cut social benefits and plowed the money into her defence budget..."

Before Powerpoint Presentations

'TERMITES!'

Ok, Rob. We'll get right on it. That was the third neighbor grousing about our yard. It's the natural look. Not in this ecosystem.

'It's a veritable superstore for us woodworm!'

"O.K. kid, arts and crafts time - today we’ll be making your ransom note."

You gonna finish that?

"It was a sweater when I began."