Woodworking Wits Gifts

"Lovely dovetail."

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

D.I.Y

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

Like father like son.

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

A classic case of 'Cow-Worm'.

Luthier

'Still having problems finding day care?'

'It's called fire...it recycles wood.'

"I'm the ghost of woodshop past."

"Most projects require three hands."

Board Meeting

"That could've been ours. But noooo...You and your DIY."

'My client stands before you, a jury of his whittling peers ...'

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

Woodpecker carves David out of tree.

'Here's how it works, Freddie. Men never do figure out what women want, so eventually we all sign up for woodworking.'

'I'm telling you, I don't have a good feeling about this.'

Why you should never leave a sander alone in a locked room.

'It's worse than we thought... You've got termites.'

Bakery: Xmas Logs.

'When you're right, you're right. When you're wrong, you're fired.'

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple

Ancenstry.com Your results: Oak: 80% Pine: 12% Maple: 3% Unknown: 5%

'Ingredients: 'pine, ash, walnut, nails, insulation materials of unknown origin and all-natural asphalt shingles.'

DIY Store "I don't know why we come here..."

Carpenter

Reality home-improvement show.

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

Oh, good - Looks like the doctor's in.

'That was some varnish remover!'