Woodwork Worry-wart Gifts

'The bad news is that you've got damp rot. The good news is - it's drowning your woodworm.'

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

I'm starting to think our new hardwood floor is made of driftwood.

Whittler's Mother.

Like father like son.

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

Man building a tree house

'Green Peace'

'My horoscope says I'm due for a surprise today.'

Woman in bed with catalogue of worries.

"Any beaver can cut down trees, but marquetry, now that's art."

Kenny's mom always made his lunch.

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know how I managed without it."

"Looks like you've got carpenter ants."

'Just measuring you for the breakfast nook.'

"Well, nothing shows up on the tests. Your headaches are probably just stress related."

'Termites!'

"My problem is I obsess over whether I worry enough."

'I'm worried about not being worried...'

"Sorry Capt., but it's a pretty bad termite infestation..."

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

DIY Disaster.

"Is it really necessary to shout 'Nailed it!' every time you hammer a nail?"

"The boss complimented Bob today... but now he's afraid if he talks to him again he'll say something stupid and ruin it!"

Woman trying to straighten a picture of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

Unfinished Furniture.

"Do you have to write down all the things you need to worry about?"

Lumberjack cutting down tree in the rain.

"Did we turn off the stove?"

'It says here dry rot is on the increase.'

"I'm getting notes of 2 x 4."