Woodwork Worry-wart Gifts

'The bad news is that you've got damp rot. The good news is - it's drowning your woodworm.'

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

Whittler's Mother.

Like father like son.

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

'Green Peace'

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

Man building a tree house

'My horoscope says I'm due for a surprise today.'

Woman in bed with catalogue of worries.

Kenny's mom always made his lunch.

"Any beaver can cut down trees, but marquetry, now that's art."

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know how I managed without it."

"Looks like you've got carpenter ants."

'Just measuring you for the breakfast nook.'

"Well, nothing shows up on the tests. Your headaches are probably just stress related."

'Termites!'

"My problem is I obsess over whether I worry enough."

'I'm worried about not being worried...'

"Sorry Capt., but it's a pretty bad termite infestation..."

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

DIY Disaster.

"The boss complimented Bob today... but now he's afraid if he talks to him again he'll say something stupid and ruin it!"

Woman trying to straighten a picture of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

Unfinished Furniture.

"Brenda's always been a bit of a worrier."

"Did we turn off the stove?"

'It says here dry rot is on the increase.'

Horses are nervous animals. . .

Lumberjack cutting down tree in the rain.

"I'm getting notes of 2 x 4."