Worry Wart Warrior Gifts

"I realize you're afraid the airline will lose your camera gear again, but I doubt duct taping it to yourself will be allowed."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

Nervous Oral Testing

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

That party went well.

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

Woman in bed with catalogue of worries.

Doctors often have to reassure the worried well.

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

'I'm worried about not being worried...'

"Well, nothing shows up on the tests. Your headaches are probably just stress related."

"My problem is I obsess over whether I worry enough."

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

Concern Chart

No Action Comics

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

Horses are nervous animals. . .

You spend way too much time and energy stewing over things, Al

"I bit my tongue...but the bandages won't stick!"

"Brenda's always been a bit of a worrier."

ALBA on Ebola

"Did we turn off the stove?"

"Do you have to write down all the things you need to worry about?"

I didn't experience any of the side effects listed in the enclosed literature. Should I be concerned?'

Your hands are cold...

'Nothing to be alarmed about Mrs.Harvey, kids do this sort of things all the time. I'm sure whatever your Jimmy's gotten lodged up there, we can get it out.'

'Your extensive anxiety condition was brought about by worrying about a national health plan.'