Worry Warriors Gifts

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

"You'd tell me if I was genetically modified?"

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

JB doesn't like to see anybody that's stressful.

'It's only hypochondria, but it's a very virulent FORM of it.'

That party went well.

Nervous Oral Testing

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

Woman in bed with catalogue of worries.

Doctors often have to reassure the worried well.

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

"Well, nothing shows up on the tests. Your headaches are probably just stress related."

'I'm worried about not being worried...'

"My problem is I obsess over whether I worry enough."

Concern Chart

No Action Comics

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

"Did we turn off the stove?"

"Brenda's always been a bit of a worrier."

"No, there's nothing wrong at my job. That's what's got me worried."

"Do you have to write down all the things you need to worry about?"

Horses are nervous animals. . .

I didn't experience any of the side effects listed in the enclosed literature. Should I be concerned?'

'Nothing to be alarmed about Mrs.Harvey, kids do this sort of things all the time. I'm sure whatever your Jimmy's gotten lodged up there, we can get it out.'

"Blood pressure is fine. Now let me just check your pessimism for the 'Times.' "

Man and his dog walk along concerned about what they might've forgotten to do.

'You're fine.'

'Your extensive anxiety condition was brought about by worrying about a national health plan.'