Worrywart Gifts

'Let's face it dear, if you don't have something to worry about then you worry about that. . .'

You worry too much, it'll kill you!

"My goodness, Henry! Take your scarf! You'll catch your death by cold!"

Nervous Oral Testing

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

That party went well.

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

Things that go beep in the night.

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

Woman in bed with catalogue of worries.

Mrs. Tree? A hockey ball hit your daughter. It's likely just a bad bruise. Whew! Though there could be a fracture, nerve damage or fatal blood clots. What? Don't worry. Our medical advisor is evaluating Twig right now. Can you sign this liability waiver? Her hand seems fine. Team lawyer.

Doctors often have to reassure the worried well.

'I'm not convinced you need tranquillizers to switch phone provider.'

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

'I'm worried about not being worried...'

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

"Well, nothing shows up on the tests. Your headaches are probably just stress related."

"My problem is I obsess over whether I worry enough."

Concern Chart

No Action Comics

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

Horses are nervous animals. . .

"Did we turn off the stove?"

"Do you have to write down all the things you need to worry about?"

"Brenda's always been a bit of a worrier."

I didn't experience any of the side effects listed in the enclosed literature. Should I be concerned?'

'Nothing to be alarmed about Mrs.Harvey, kids do this sort of things all the time. I'm sure whatever your Jimmy's gotten lodged up there, we can get it out.'