Worrywart Wonder Gifts

Department of paranoia.

That party went well.

Nervous Oral Testing

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

Woman in bed with catalogue of worries.

Doctors often have to reassure the worried well.

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

"Well, nothing shows up on the tests. Your headaches are probably just stress related."

"I know there's safety in numbers, but I suffer from enochlophobia: Can you help me?"

"My problem is I obsess over whether I worry enough."

Concern Chart

'I'm worried about not being worried...'

No Action Comics

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

Horses are nervous animals. . .

"Do you have to write down all the things you need to worry about?"

"Brenda's always been a bit of a worrier."

"Did we turn off the stove?"

I didn't experience any of the side effects listed in the enclosed literature. Should I be concerned?'

'Nothing to be alarmed about Mrs.Harvey, kids do this sort of things all the time. I'm sure whatever your Jimmy's gotten lodged up there, we can get it out.'

"Blood pressure is fine. Now let me just check your pessimism for the 'Times.' "

'Your extensive anxiety condition was brought about by worrying about a national health plan.'

Man and his dog walk along concerned about what they might've forgotten to do.

'You're fine.'