Worrywart Extraordinaire Gifts

Mrs. Tree? A hockey ball hit your daughter. It's likely just a bad bruise. Whew! Though there could be a fracture, nerve damage or fatal blood clots. What? Don't worry. Our medical advisor is evaluating Twig right now. Can you sign this liability waiver? Her hand seems fine. Team lawyer.

I.T. Fear

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

Nervous Oral Testing

That party went well.

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

"I know there's safety in numbers, but I suffer from enochlophobia: Can you help me?"

Concern Chart

No Action Comics

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

I didn't experience any of the side effects listed in the enclosed literature. Should I be concerned?'

'Nothing to be alarmed about Mrs.Harvey, kids do this sort of things all the time. I'm sure whatever your Jimmy's gotten lodged up there, we can get it out.'

"Oh, great, the warranty is up."

"I looked up my symptoms on the internet and I'm worried that I might be dead."

'I can't relax _ I'm worrying about your watch being five minutes slow !'

"This is where I get most of my negative thinking done."

"You should make a resolution not to worry about the little things..."

'It's only hypochondria, but it's a very virulent FORM of it.'

JB doesn't like to see anybody that's stressful.

"You'd tell me if I was genetically modified?"

"Trust me: It's benign."

"Have you got anything to stop me worrying about my pharmaceutical shares?"

Regular servicing protects your warranty, and your family from psycho mechanics.

'I think I left the iron on.'

When you get worried and you can't sleep. . .

'This compulsion to check you've always locked you can door...how long have you...?

Problem. . . Appropriate Amount Of Worry. . . Extra Worry Just To Be Sure. . . Even More Worry Days After Problem Forgotten About.