Worry Warden Gifts

"No, no, that's not a sin, either. My goodness, you must have worried yourself to death."

That party went well.

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

Nervous Oral Testing

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

"Who says you can't take it with you? This one has a fireproof lining."

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

Woman in bed with catalogue of worries.

Mrs. Tree? A hockey ball hit your daughter. It's likely just a bad bruise. Whew! Though there could be a fracture, nerve damage or fatal blood clots. What? Don't worry. Our medical advisor is evaluating Twig right now. Can you sign this liability waiver? Her hand seems fine. Team lawyer.

"That's classic J.R. . . .a little bit business, a little bit whimsy."

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

'And as further evidence of global warming, we have a front of fried eggs coming in from the north. . .'

"My problem is I obsess over whether I worry enough."

"Well, nothing shows up on the tests. Your headaches are probably just stress related."

'I'm worried about not being worried...'

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

Concern Chart

"I don't use straws anymore. Straws are bad for the environment."

Dutch Boy With Finger In Dyke

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

'So we meet again...'

"Brenda's always been a bit of a worrier."

"Do you have to write down all the things you need to worry about?"

Horses are nervous animals. . .

"Did we turn off the stove?"