Worry Wart Humorist Gifts

'Well, this'll probably knock climate change off as my number one worry.'

That party went well.

Nervous Oral Testing

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

COWMIKAZES

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

"Four hours study and the poor love still can't decide which luxury saloon to buy for himself."

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

Woman in bed with catalogue of worries.

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

"Well, nothing shows up on the tests. Your headaches are probably just stress related."

'I'm worried about not being worried...'

"My problem is I obsess over whether I worry enough."

Concern Chart

No Action Comics

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

"Do you have to write down all the things you need to worry about?"

"Did we turn off the stove?"

Horses are nervous animals. . .

'Has the news finished yet?'

"Since I heard there was a monster I can't sleep at night!"

Safe harbour

"Brenda's always been a bit of a worrier."

"The end of the world is nigh."

I didn't experience any of the side effects listed in the enclosed literature. Should I be concerned?'