Worry Warts Gifts

Birth of a worrier

You spend way too much time and energy stewing over things, Al

That party went well.

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

Nervous Oral Testing

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

Woman in bed with catalogue of worries.

'Now I'm going to lump all your nagging little worries into one big complex.'

Doctors often have to reassure the worried well.

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

"Well, nothing shows up on the tests. Your headaches are probably just stress related."

'I'm worried about not being worried...'

"My problem is I obsess over whether I worry enough."

Concern Chart

No Action Comics

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

"Did we turn off the stove?"

"Do you have to write down all the things you need to worry about?"

'The bad news is that you've got damp rot. The good news is - it's drowning your woodworm.'

Horses are nervous animals. . .

"Brenda's always been a bit of a worrier."

I didn't experience any of the side effects listed in the enclosed literature. Should I be concerned?'

'Nothing to be alarmed about Mrs.Harvey, kids do this sort of things all the time. I'm sure whatever your Jimmy's gotten lodged up there, we can get it out.'

'You're fine.'

'Your extensive anxiety condition was brought about by worrying about a national health plan.'

"Blood pressure is fine. Now let me just check your pessimism for the 'Times.' "

Man and his dog walk along concerned about what they might've forgotten to do.