Worry Wart Warrior Pillows

"I realize you're afraid the airline will lose your camera gear again, but I doubt duct taping it to yourself will be allowed."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

That party went well.

Nervous Oral Testing

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

Woman in bed with catalogue of worries.

Doctors often have to reassure the worried well.

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

'I'm worried about not being worried...'

"Well, nothing shows up on the tests. Your headaches are probably just stress related."

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

Concern Chart

"My problem is I obsess over whether I worry enough."

No Action Comics

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

"Do you have to write down all the things you need to worry about?"

"I bit my tongue...but the bandages won't stick!"

"Brenda's always been a bit of a worrier."

"Did we turn off the stove?"

Horses are nervous animals. . .

ALBA on Ebola

I didn't experience any of the side effects listed in the enclosed literature. Should I be concerned?'

'Nothing to be alarmed about Mrs.Harvey, kids do this sort of things all the time. I'm sure whatever your Jimmy's gotten lodged up there, we can get it out.'

Your hands are cold...

"Blood pressure is fine. Now let me just check your pessimism for the 'Times.' "

'Your extensive anxiety condition was brought about by worrying about a national health plan.'