Woodworking Warrior Gifts

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

'Quit fooling around, Gog. Do the assignment.'

Fill idle hours by making your own rustic seat...use it when you want to relax.

"The only thing worse than seeing something done wrong is seeing it done slowly."

"Remedial Karate"

"A splinter! Ow! Ow! Ow!"

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

'You get to peddle for the next log, Babe.'

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

Don't let the woodcutters get too close or they'll make a fuel out of you!

"I always like to clear my desk off for the weekend."

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"Lovely dovetail."

"Brandon isn't adapting well to the open office concept."

D.I.Y

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

"The GOOD news is that 94 people want to attend the leadership training, the bad news is that 64 of them want to change the venue, 56 the time and 45 want to be course leader."

Best Seller

The Freedom of the Press is Worth Fighting For!

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

Decapitated coffee.

"First of all, let me commend everyone on the teamwork displayed on this icebreaker. Secondly, let me apologize for some of the motivational language I used during this session..."

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

'It feels like I'm very much in a good place these days. That is, aside from the grammar.'