Woodworking Warrior Pillows

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

'Quit fooling around, Gog. Do the assignment.'

Fill idle hours by making your own rustic seat...use it when you want to relax.

"The only thing worse than seeing something done wrong is seeing it done slowly."

"Remedial Karate"

"A splinter! Ow! Ow! Ow!"

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

'You get to peddle for the next log, Babe.'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"I always like to clear my desk off for the weekend."

"Lovely dovetail."

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"Brandon isn't adapting well to the open office concept."

D.I.Y

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

"The GOOD news is that 94 people want to attend the leadership training, the bad news is that 64 of them want to change the venue, 56 the time and 45 want to be course leader."

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

Best Seller

The Freedom of the Press is Worth Fighting For!

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

Decapitated coffee.

"First of all, let me commend everyone on the teamwork displayed on this icebreaker. Secondly, let me apologize for some of the motivational language I used during this session..."

Like father like son.

"Huddleston, I admire your hands-on approach to everything, but get the hell out of my office!"

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'