Financial Worrywart Gifts

"Have you got anything to stop me worrying about my pharmaceutical shares?"

'At work I'm surrounded by yes-men. From you I expect the plain, unvarnished truth - if my bonus is reinstated will I live to enjoy it?'

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

'Oh, no! It's all in euros!'

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

I think I have a gilt complex.

The truth about the death of the Dinosaurs.

Mrs. Tree? A hockey ball hit your daughter. It's likely just a bad bruise. Whew! Though there could be a fracture, nerve damage or fatal blood clots. What? Don't worry. Our medical advisor is evaluating Twig right now. Can you sign this liability waiver? Her hand seems fine. Team lawyer.

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

'Climate change seems to be a real thing... in the past, our money was sufficient till the 25th of a month. Nowadays, it's melted away on the 15th.'

'You don't know how lucky you are. My mortgage is worth more than my house.'

No Action Comics

The Circle.

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

Energy Bills

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

"All I did was ask it if we'll ever collect Social Security and Medicare."

The End of Economic Stimulus is Near!

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

'It's money in the bank. . . so it's worrisome.'

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

"Do you have money or is it money that has you?"

"Sidney gets nervous if he's too far from his money."

'Well, we've been talking about downsizing, and it looks like the bank is going to make sure we do.'

"My arthritis lets me know when it's going to rain, and my acid reflux lets me know when a stock market storm is rolling in."

Credit Crunch.

Eye of needle fat cat size That'll do nicely.

'You can't take it with you so I'm sending it on ahead.'

"Right. Money isn't everything - what's the other thing again?"

James never left his bed, seeing nothing but danger in the financial world.

"I looked up my symptoms on the internet and I'm worried that I might be dead."

'Man! With its ever-rising value, you have enough gold in your mouth to ensure a great retirement...of course without teeth!

Very sad piggy bank