Financial Fear Fighter Gifts

"I want a costume that will scare grownups. What does an underfunded retirement account look like?"

"Everything looked fine. We're just giving you a mild sedative before showing you the bill."

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

"And with you on guard, I won't have to worry about that monster under my bed."

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"A wage increase to match inflation."

The Smell of Fear

Dog scared of a toad jumps onto a 'Beware the Dog' sign.

"Prices may keep going up, up, up, but my love for you will remain positively, and forever, as is."

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

Student Debt

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

'Don't come too close - this baby will tear you to pieces, bite your head off and drink your blood... I've called him 'Fiscal Policy'.'

"I could have been a big celebrity but for my fear of public speaking."

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

'Sorry to trouble you , sir , but did you remember to sign my expenses ?'

Breaking Through

'Mice escaped again@?'

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

'Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio heavy on sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

Stress on GPs

'Climate change seems to be a real thing... in the past, our money was sufficient till the 25th of a month. Nowadays, it's melted away on the 15th.'

'You're better off without him.'

MBA, PhD £100,000 student loan. Please Help.

I riry hay oey oo ah eh-eh! We'll never cure your fear of dentists if you keep talking like that.

"We don't send statements - they cause too many heart attacks."

'That's not in addition to your pension, that IS your pension.'

'How to handle market stress' book being thrown through investments office window.

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

"Tell me about your fear of policemen."