Financially Fearful Gifts

"It makes me nervous to be social distanced from my money."

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

Peter

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

"Pendleton will stay afloat no matter what!"

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

'I think you've managed learning to cope almost too well.'

"Well, my paycheck barely pays the bills, I might need a second job, my wife is on my case, and my dad's in the hospital."

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

'No trouble at all giving you an overdraft Mr Simkins - have mine!'

Sales

The company's going bankrupt,you'll need to get someone in to bite my nails for me!

"With the rises in fuel, food and mortgage I'm going to have to put in some overtime."

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

"Your assets will be frozen? Oh, boy, is it going to snow?"

'Climate change seems to be a real thing... in the past, our money was sufficient till the 25th of a month. Nowadays, it's melted away on the 15th.'

"Even after all that's happened, I feel no less regal."

In Case of Emergency - Break Glass and take a BIG SWIG!

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

'Sorry, I don't do bailouts.'

"That's it - we've eaten the last of the energy bills."

'Our vows didn't say anything about hedge fund mis-management!'

'Lost my shirt in the market ! Kept some dignity with hat & tie.'

How America Was Re-Won

Energy Bills

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

"I'm sorry, Ma, but we're forced to sell the art collection."

"All I did was ask it if we'll ever collect Social Security and Medicare."

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

Moving. Mortgage payments bankrupted them. I guess "housebroken" means something different in their case.

'Remember you asked me to turn around the business!'

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

"We were wondering if now would be a good time to panic."