Financially Cautious Gifts

The mask-wearer.

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

"You might say I'm middle-of-the-road. I'd buy a fur coat but I wouldn't buy a Japanese fur coat."

'Climate change seems to be a real thing... in the past, our money was sufficient till the 25th of a month. Nowadays, it's melted away on the 15th.'

"Son, it's about time I told you the facts of life, the richest 1% own half the world's wealth."

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

New York Stock Exchange: Feed the bears at your own risk.

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

Sam's Nation Building

''Struts' Lebow, batting 0347 recieves $4,200 grant in hitting to supplement his $1,630,000 salary.'

The Quack Quack Diaries - Quack Quack Gets Repossessed

"All I did was ask it if we'll ever collect Social Security and Medicare."

"You'll be out of here before you know it. Our auditor just went over your financial situation."

Energy Bills

"Looks very promising. Put us down for one half of one share."

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

'How can you sleep at night?'

'It's money in the bank. . . so it's worrisome.'

Senior Brand Name Medicine Cabinet

'Well, we've been talking about downsizing, and it looks like the bank is going to make sure we do.'

'I'm so bad with money, I never know how much I have in the bank unless I shake it and count what falls out.'

"Sidney gets nervous if he's too far from his money."

"For clients with an extremely low risk tolerance, I recommend they talk to someone with a ground-floor office."

'Hmmm, this is too good to be true: I can smell a rat...'

"This was supposed to be the last session, but I think that I need to come abother couple of times to treat this sense of guilt for all the money I have wasted on you."

'I appreciate all you've done to help me to relax but I still get nervous twinges when I get your bill.'

'The armed forces are having to respond to new kinds of threat.'

'I'm not concerned that coffee might keep me awake all night. I have credit problems that do that for me.'

"Here are my notes on collateralized debt obligation. Make me sound like I know what I'm talking about."

'As far as we know, no one who has eaten out genetically-modified food has turned into a creature or anything.'

"It wouldn't kill you to pay your bill."