Financially Curious Thinker Gifts

"Son, it's about time I told you the facts of life, the richest 1% own half the world's wealth."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

Schrodinger's Black Box

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

"When I get to Heaven, will I still have to clean my room?"

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

"Allow me to introduce Recession. Recession is here to stay."

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

Fiscal Compass for the Global Investor.

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

Money Plant.

'Does it bother you that we have all the money?'

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'

"We balanced our budget this month!"

'Stand back! All he needs is an injection of long-term capital.'

"I was downgraded to junk status at work today."