Quirky Finance Geek Gifts

'How many pension fund managers does it take to change a lightbulb...?'

The day the stock market went UP.

Great Chinese Dynasties

Mario Draghi

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

The Shrinking Dollar.

"... And to our friends in the Liberal Democratic party I award thirty pieces of silver."

Slipping and sliding down the slope...

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

"One question, what's a share option?"

I've found a loophole in your loophole

"Jerry's blood pressure jumped to a six month high on News of the dollar's weakness."

'What do you mean, the chart resembles an iceberg?'

Cheer up, you'll get your day.

"Post holiday sales look similar to the crater that killed the dinosaurs."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

"At least we're consistent ... "

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

"Italy just bought France."

Euro Bait

Warren Buffett

The Decline of the Euro.

'I think it's time to reboot your fiscal compass.'

The End of Trump?

'In the interests of full disclosure, federal law now requires me to inform you that I own shares in the winery whose product I am serving this evening.'

"I was sent on a fact finding mission. Now I'm accused of insider trading!"

"No, unfortunately I won't be raising your debt ceiling."

R. Jones: Investment Advisor - Out Chasing Yield

'Due to current market conditions, I'm recommending that my clients invest heavily into pain medication companies.'

Dangers of Inflationary Fiscal Policy

"Yes very good, but when I say I need to see your business model before agreeing any loan, I mean your strategy."

'The National Debt just sounds like it's a lot of money because it's such a large number.'