Quirky Financier Gifts

'So, you're a serious investor? Lighten up!'

Stock Tips: $5 - 'What not to buy'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

"Okay, it if makes you feel better...yes, I have stock in a banana company."

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!

"You should consider buying."

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

'I suppose if we had some money we could buy sand from each other.'

Locally Grown Stocks, Farm Fresh CDs, Free Range Annuities.

'I'm in for burglarizing a store, but I got a reduced sentence because I only stole sale items.'

Investments: We have locally grown stocks.

Animal worries.

The last of the Mom and Pop brokerage houses

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

"We've got an application from a bank asking if we'd like to sponsor a branch."

Garage Sale: Assorted shares of stocks.

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

'Finzter, our newest investment adviser, believes that money can make you happy.'

Stock Market Psychology: 'Buy with the leftside of your brain, sell with the rightside!'

Kid's Lemonade Stand Has A High Pricing Policy

'One look at you and I thought 'footsie world stock fund.''

Gracie's Halloween Candy Exchange.

"In my family we're forbidden from mentioning my uncle...he made his money with cat food stocks!"

Piggy bank queuing at the bank.

Low-Rent Stockholders

'I'm doomed anyway, so I may as well make the most of it...'