Playful Financier Gifts

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

'My dad showed me how to make awesome paper airplanes out of corporate bonds.'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

'Simply put, we are on our ninth life!'

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

At The Clown Bank.

"It's a profit and loss statement. Read it with gusto!"

'Prof. Sigurdt has made giant strides in making genetic engineering profitable.'

Snowman in front of IRS wears barrel

"It's called investing! You give me your worm now, I eat half of it, feed the other half to the fish and, in a month, we share the fish 10/90 my way. . ."

"We're trying to put the fun back into filing taxes."

'Perkins, what about this trip on your expense account to 'Fantasy Island'?'

'I received your cheque twice, once from you and once from the bank.'

'I'm here to test the magic 8-ball.'

'He made a lot of money investing in what he knew - dog biscuit and rawhide bone futures.'

Magnifying the Euro

It's important to maintain liquidity! It must be a business school.

Akme National Bank: Our Assets Can Whip Your Assets.

I didn't realize there had been so many mergers.

"on the contrary, the fund's performance has been quite good when viewed in dog's years."

You're £500 overdrawn. Only kidding, but the shock cured your hiccups!

Investments: We have organic and gluten-free stocks.

'My investment portfolio is a mixed bag. It's performing well but it lacks panache.'

"I did it for the money."

"Relax, Eddie. Our research division says the fundamentals look good."

'As a general rule of thumb, if your only assets are your frequent flyer miles, you don't need to create a trust for your children.'

Cleaner looking at flow chart of Yoyo sales. The line of sales is going up and down.

Stock Tips: $5 - 'What not to buy'

'So what if we're in the best preschool? How can we go anywhere in life if we don't yet have maxed out credit cards?'

"Never sell your hotels and try to choose the tiny hat."

Porridge stocks are down

'So, you're a serious investor? Lighten up!'

"No, you can't pay in camels -but we do accept goldfish!"