Fishy Financier Gifts

"Did you get a christmas bonus, dear?"

"It's called investing! You give me your worm now, I eat half of it, feed the other half to the fish and, in a month, we share the fish 10/90 my way. . ."

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

'You simply put up a minimum of $2,500. If the price of fish goes up, your investment goes up. If the price of the fish goes down, your investment goes down.'

'Thanks to a little genetec engineering, we can merchandise these fish right on the farm.'

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

Fish Food

"It's a profit and loss statement. Read it with gusto!"

"The crab Florentine is excellent, but the rack of lamb has limited downside risk.''

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

School of Fish

'Yes we are observing the swordfish boycott, but we brought in special herring with nose jobs.'

"That guy is incredible! He's coaxed the fish to invest 20,000 bucks...in catfood stocks!"

One of the crucial moments in evolution: 'It's a beautiful day today... We could go out for a walk...'

'My dad showed me how to make awesome paper airplanes out of corporate bonds.'

"It is one of life's great mysteries. No one has ever returned to tell."

'I hear you have a side business.'

The way I look at it...give a man a fish and you got a potential customer. Teach a man to fish and you lose market share.

Fisherman.

'Today I invested in some Chinese stocks, but I felt greedy again in an hour.'

'So many potential customers... unfortunately, they're not credit-worthy.'

"Just the bait, please."

"It looks like you're the main stakeholder in this business."

'This sounds promising... 'Help wanted: Live Bait'...'

"I don't know whether to be mad because you want to disallow my trip to the lake, or flattered because you think there was something fishy about it."

'...a little higher and to the right.'

The Submarine and the Fisherman

'As a general rule of thumb, if your only assets are your frequent flyer miles, you don't need to create a trust for your children.'

'You're late for work again, Hayes. What's your lame excuse this time?'

"Everyone said we're crazy to hike a snake charmer, but he's out top fund manager."

"Sure I can tell you where and when the big fish are going to bite, but I'm not sure I want to get involved in insider trading."

'Where you off to Freddie? The fishpond! ...THE FISHPOND!'

Darwin goes fishing