Four-legged Financier Gifts

'I'm tired of begging, so I'm applying for a loan.'

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

"With me everything is 'scratch and sniff'."

'So much for the will! Now, before you start celebrating, I suggest you think about inheritance taxes, because, according to my calculations, you will be left with. . ."

'Oh my God, dog biscuits are down!'

'What, you again? And you'll want credit as usual, I suppose!'

'It's a good living. They train you to do default swaps and you get paid in seals.'

"It's called investing! You give me your worm now, I eat half of it, feed the other half to the fish and, in a month, we share the fish 10/90 my way. . ."

'My dad showed me how to make awesome paper airplanes out of corporate bonds.'

"Trust me, catching it isn't that satisfying."

"I take it you've never had a bank account before?"

'I hear you have a side business.'

'So many potential customers... unfortunately, they're not credit-worthy.'

'...anything else, sir?'

Bad cat - Credit Card.

'I haven't had my day and I don't know any dog who has.'

Rover's Cake

'And this is Mr Blagstock our chief salesman.'

'Do you have a dog biscuit ETF, chew toy ETF, rawhide bone eTF. . .?'

'As a general rule of thumb, if your only assets are your frequent flyer miles, you don't need to create a trust for your children.'

Dog has a hi-yeild inbox full of bones.

'Do you believe in signs, Sir?'

Stock Tips: $5 - 'What not to buy'

'So, you're a serious investor? Lighten up!'

"No, you can't pay in camels -but we do accept goldfish!"

'Would you care to settle the matter of your loan with a penalty shoot-out?'

"Did you get a christmas bonus, dear?"

'With all your exports, the North Pole must have a really bad trade imbalance.'

'I can take some of the swing out of your portfolio.'